Archive for category time capsule
Have you heard? There’s another one coming. Anticipation is building and
I’m struggling to trust in (all of) my resolutions for the new year I’m enjoying some festive drinks and working away on a design project. Funny thing is I know I can be whatever I truly want to be, but the mix of misfortunes and shake-ups from 2013 left a trail of debris that I’m still working to clear. Confidence issues, or something. Maybe my hesitation to be totally joyful in joining the communal welcome is just the “you’re supposed to reflect on the year and make the next one better” pressure. Maybe its just the grey skies and cold. Maybe its knowing what I really have to do to move on…
Anyway, here are some arty/worky things from 2013:
- ART of the BAYOU It was wonderful getting to know all these South LA artists and truly an honor to share their work.
- Reconnected with an artistic collaborator (we first made videos in 2001!) through the Bayou project. This connection is proving to be one of the most powerful and positive occurrences in 2013. We’re planning a homecoming show, of sorts, in Houma during March 2014. Like us? hate us?…come to the show…you won’t be disappointed. Here’s one of the (many) videos I’ve made for my dear old friend Stephen Berger’s music. [vimeo https://vimeo.com/76669876 w=600]
- Speaking of shows, I’m excited to start the new year in the company of some beautiful, talented artists on January 4th for “Moses Knightshead’s Heaven and Hell” at the Bayou Terrebonne Waterlife Museum. I’m looking forward to this show and many more to come.
- Began work with The Helio Foundation; currently building a partnerships and working to bring arts-based programming to kids in and around Houma
- Picked up an exciting graphic design job creating a walking map for Historic Downtown Houma, and brochures for the Bayou Terrebonne Waterlife Museum, Terrebonne Folklife Culture Center and the Houma Downtown Marina. I’ve got Creative Suite and I’m not afraid to use it!
So, happy New Year. I wish you all the blessings of now and forever. I’ll be welcoming 2014 in a quiet old house (save for the insane fireworks blasting around it) in my favorite city with my favorite kid, while enjoying the warmth of shared art, spiritual connection and future visions…..
Foolishly, I trusted her words. I trusted her reassuring “yeah, that went in the mail last week”. I trusted her uneasy laugh, like a good fool would. I trusted her supportive comments about my work and her matter-of-fact answers to our questions about hers. I accepted her word as truth. Weeks turned to months while I trusted. I stopped trusting and became embarrassed for having been “had” and embarrassed about not having enough “hard evidence” to win ALL of my cases about how myself and others were “had” (but time will remedy this). Embarrassment devolved into anger, and now the anger has faded to sadness. The sadness is flirting with hopelessness, in so many ways, and it is terrifying.
It is a constant reminder of the words. I’ve been assured that it will move away from this sad fact, in time, but that time isn’t here yet. The reminder is akin to a tree blocking the road after a storm. I have to find a way to remove it or move around it. I feel the constant need to apologize to everyone remotely related to the project. I cannot think of (much less complete) the project without feeling the effects of the words all over again. This is more of a detriment to the project than the “lost” funds will ever be.
(…………………….please enter now) Is this where compassion for liars comes in? Forgiveness for those who knowingly act in ways that are a detriment to others?
…feeling rather dramatic today, several sentences crafted in the ‘woe is he of little faith’ biblical tone. I found a paper with a Buddhist song about karma in the drawer of my new desk in my new office. Perhaps a sign? Seeking organic opportunities for community building and career advancement. Looking towards bright spots on the horizon. Seeking truth and fairness. Understanding that I do not control the actions of the world. Understanding that time is temporary and trials are teachable moments. Hoping for progress. Thankful for good health, family and true friends.
Yesterday I resigned from my work managing the Coastal Communities Youth Arts Project and assisting in grant writing for the Houma Regional Arts Council. I am thankful for the opportunities the organization has afforded me over the years, especially the opportunities that allowed me to have a hand in bringing arts experiences to underserved youth in South Louisiana. I’ve grown and will continue to grow from the valuable professional development lessons, and am grateful for the organization’s fiscal sponsorship of Art of the Bayou. I will continue to produce and manage this documentary, and hope only for the best (with all things) moving forward….
Art. After art comes the art of business. Is it wrong to mix the two? People build somewhat sustainable careers from this marriage. I think I can do that. However…to more effectively do that I need to make some changes….
Feeling more introverted the last few days, not the same as the weeks before when I was so eager to talk to more humans about new things other than the current things discouraging the human I am and the humans I know. I’m almost constantly thinking about and almost constantly discussing the strangeseriousangering situation unfolding. I couldn’t possibly have predicted this. We couldn’t possibly have known. That isn’t it. I wish that was it. I fall to being dangerously empathetic and forget myself and my family. I remember my family and the gears start to move. Yesterday we spoke of almost nothing but the levee vs. oil & gas industry suit. I become empowered and went inward to think it over. I’ve emerged with a plan. The alignment of my immediate misfortune and the actions moving forward to battle the larger misfortune of my beloved Louisiana (what it represents to me, at least) are sparking inspiration. I know what to do and where to get the answers. All its going to take is me going and doing.
So many mountain drives. We are small and it is amazing. The vastness of the planet and the fortune of freedom of mobility in it is conjuring some wonderful art output. My editing techniques are sharpening and I’m able to make incredible progress in shorter amounts of time. Still, slow moving because of all the trying to figure out the strangeseriousangering. But the thing remains, and practice makes perfect.
And apparently I say “like” a lot during interviews. Like, I really don’t recall saying that I, like, really want people to just love my movies. I mean, like, maybe I do, but like, why would a person ever admit that?
Whatever it is people are going to think about people, they’ve probably already decided. Probably decided when they first heard that thing about that thing you did or maybe did. Or they decided way back in childhood. Or when you stepped into the room or they saw you at that place. Whatever it is I think they’re going to think, I’m going to not worry.
We are above and beneath the rocks. Stand clear.
sometimes we “drop the ball”
sometimes nothing is helpful
don’t you worry, I’m looking for that ball
part one: method Tonight, the computer brightness can’t get right for my eyes, but this house box only allows for so much activity space, so I stay. I scroll through an oldish music library and every single song reminds me of something I want to forget. I want to just download my brain, where does one sign up for such things? What’s wrong with me?
My art practice of late is schizoid, but
seems to be is moving forward. I’m allowing myself time to think about projects…but I also sometimes get lost in the variety and am not as attentive to certain tasks as I should be. I’m trying to stay organized with the non-art-making (but its all art…right?) work tasks and not let them overwhelm me. Its all about using the space-time continuum wisely. I’d write more about the arts-making, but I want to actually make some right now, so that’ll wait. I’m learning about properly writing screenplays. Tapping into the word brain and building a story called “Droil”.
I’m also, most importantly, trying my best to balance parenting and working. I enjoy work and projects and work/projects. I think its important to have a good balance, but sometimes I the wires get tangled. Thankful for balance and a happy, healthy child. librastuff.